nothing stays as I want it to,
my hair moves to my left –
sometimes to my right when I don’t look
and light shatters in my eyelids
when, eyes closed, in the direction of the sunset I stare;
eyes closed, heart closed, body numb and in thoughts –
in thoughts immortal!
equivalent to an undead.
a beast born from fantasy
and in fantasy raised…
wind is here to remind me of my mortal form,
my mortal thoughts, my irrational – so called rational decisions,
and time – time moves in circles.
showing me that all I have loved, I have lost!
and I have loved… sometimes, when I forgot how the creature called human
when I forgot the fragility it bears, the fragility it is.
in the balcony, staring towards fields of red:
rooftops, clothes, boring, mundane lives..
my hands shake.
from the sound of those unheard, or from the cold-polluted air.
as the sun sets
the tiny voice that slowly is growing inside my head
says: “Let it go! Why do you care?”
I don’t answer.
I close the door
and slowly, descend downstairs.