Loneliness? Anyone?

Is there any cure for loneliness?
And I am not talking about that kind of loneliness that can be cured just by having someone that sticks close to you, that loves you, that cares for you and is there whenever you need it.
I am not talking about that kind of loneliness that can be cured by having friends, girlfriends, kids, parents, brothers or sisters.
I am talking about the real loneliness, the true form of it!
That kind of loneliness you feel when you are going home from work, when you are alone in the bathroom taking a leak or taking a shit, when your eyes are closed and everyone disappears and there’s only you, you alone, with your thoughts and your happiness and your pain and you kindness and your wickedness and everything that makes you, you!
I am talking about that kind of loneliness, about that kind of freedom(or slavery) that can pop your eyes out just by the sheer strain of it.
I am talking about that kind of loneliness that leaves you so vulnerable that can bring you down just by implanting in you a simple uncontrolled thought, be it sexual, emotional or unorthodox!
I am talking about that kind of loneliness.
am talking about that loneliness that everyone feels almost at daily basis and for which almost no one talks, or tells anyone else.
I am talking about that personal loneliness that makes us feel like we are the only ones who are experiencing it, that we are the only ones who are stricken and tortured by it.
I am talking about that kind of loneliness. And from what I know, you all know of it. 


30 thoughts on “Loneliness? Anyone?

  1. Perhaps we all know it, but not all of us experience it as something negative. I for one have always been a loner (probably due to my Asperger’s) and have been comfortable with it for as long as I can remember.

    I could come up with ‘cures’ but it would be pure speculation of the kind centenarians engage in when asked how they got to be so old (except the ones who answer “Be born a long time ago and don’t have died yet”).

    Is it because I’m not afraid of my thoughts, even the negative ones?
    Is it because interacting with people is more problematic to me than interacting with even the worst my own mind has to offer?
    Is it because the ‘loneliness centres’ in my brain are missing or defective?

    I guess my only real answer would have to be “If I was going to that place I wouldn’t be starting from where you are”.

    • Actually there’s two pieces of advice that might help.

      1. Practice being with silence. Leave the radio and television off when you’re home alone. Find a quiet place to be in and spend time there without distractions like laptops and books.

      2. Learn to meditate and practice it regularly.

    • Well, what you are saying is something like “Learning how to live with loneliness”, a thing which is not a big problem for anyone who has managed to live until today.
      But, what I am saying is, “Is there any cure for loneliness”, meaning, removing it. Not learning to live with it, not pretending that it doesn’t exist and other things like that. but removing all of it.
      btw, I loved your advice ^_^, it was good and well said ::)

      • Well, what you are saying is something like “Learning how to live with loneliness”

        Not really.
        If you mean ‘loneliness’ you mean some sort of affliction and I guess I’m trying to work out how it arises with a view to getting rid of it.
        If you mean ‘aloneness’ I’m trying to work out why it’s a problem requiring a cure at all.

      • Guess I need to find a new word for it. And the other thing is, I am not saying that it’s a problem, I am saying that it’s always there, and you can’t do a damn thing to get rid of it.

    • I would suggest for you to try and cure that loneliness with family, friends and love…..
      cause your kind of loneliness, i guess, is a thing that can be cured, at least a great portion of it.

      • Well, I guess you were right, but when someone had failed you so many times you kinda stop trying, and more about accepting that situation, as they try to understand you – but it’s you who can’t really open up to them, in some ways make me stuck in this state. Perhaps I should try more harder, thanks for reminding me mate… :0)

  2. Yep. I think it’s a necessary feeling to make us be there for ourselves. Sucks sometimes, since my accountability to myself can waver, but important all the same. Thanks for expressing it so well!

  3. I think I know what you’re talking about, just not sure I’d call it loneliness. Fear? Those moments can make me anxious. Peace? The same thing can bring complete calm to me.

    • No, I am not talking about Fear. I am talking about that half second you close your eyes, and everything disappears. It doesn’t matter if the feeling you are experiencing is ‘good’ or ‘bad’, what it matters is, that you are totally alone at that half second, and you can do nothing about it.

      • Hmm, well totally alone and can’t do anything about it sounds a little like fear. And it also sounds pleasantly calming. Maybe we just interpret it differently from our different lives.

      • I’ve totally felt this. It felt like I had jumped into an abyss, as if I’d discovered a black hole within myself but like you said, it didn’t last very long. Soon enough, the “moment” was over and I felt like myself again.
        being alone and feeling alone are different just as loneliness and aloneness are not the same. They say that we must be alone if we want to truly discover ourselves so it’s in those mundane moments like driving in the car, walking on a street, showering, eating breakfast, etc that I do most of my introspection. I take it as an opportunity to learn more about myself. Who am I? Why do I eat my cereal this way? Would I do it differently if someone were watching? I believe this kind of ‘loneliness’ that you’re talking about slowly starts to fade when you have found someone you can share with, be completely yourself with, when you start living your truth, at least that’s been my experience. I believe it stems from the concept of knowing we’re part of something bigger than ourselves and yet not feeling as if we’re connected to the ‘source’ so to speak. Again, these are just my personal experiences.

  4. I once read out loud to my class from an autobiographical essay we were assigned – it went something like this:

    [It began with some rambles about my being a sort of orphaned only child] – – it ended with “the funny thing about loneliness is that were all alone here together.”

    Such similar to what you’ve touched upon.

    I think the cure for loneliness is truly finding your inner self in attention to your connectivity with all the universes/humans/people/creatures that surround you. But the cure comes and goes, it is not everlasting, unless you want it to be and your desires in life are fulfilled (only which is something you can decide alone in yourself). But as long as you want to keep loving everyone you love, the loneliness won’t go completely away – you have to feel a little empty to become a little fulfilled (isn’t it a great thing to be missed and to miss a loved one?) – at least that’s the way I’ve observed it in my life time. My bouts of greatest happiness most always came after my bouts of deepest loneliness. After the long, dark and lonely trek, the light you find at the end of the abyss shines through the long hall ages of your darkness.

    This subject of loneliness could be spoken of in spirals of tangents into infinity. So is the beauty and chaos of infinite discovery.

  5. “I am talking about that personal loneliness that makes us feel like we are the only ones who are experiencing it, that we are the only ones who are stricken and tortured by it”

    Those kind of feeling made me driving in highway alone at night for hours, loneliness that made my tears come down without noticing it and make my heart ache without able to see by my own eyes.

    Thank you for sharing loneliness in such words, thank you for read and join my blog, will read more about yours 🙂

  6. I really don’t think there is a cure, you just learn how to live with it

    I have felt this kind of loneliness while being in company of a loved one, with family and friends. I have felt it also while driving to work, eating alone or getting ready to go somewhere. I think this kind of loneliness is just there…always present

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